Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
Randomize
