508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
Public service announcement: if you would like to continue receiving blow jobs, a 25% increase in fuck-giving will be expected immediately, and you're expected to give an actual flying fuck at least once a week. Brought to you by the ad council.
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
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