you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
it's not cheating when I paid for it
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
Randomize
