So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
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