your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
Randomize
