Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
We need a shit load of segways right now
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
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