Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
I'm, like, this 🤏🏼 close to buying crocs
And you're also 🤏🏼 to never putting your dick inside me again
Randomize
