What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
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