the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
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