There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Randomize
