problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
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