Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
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