whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
