Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
Randomize
