I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
Randomize
