alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
Just high enough for therapy.
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
Randomize
