where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
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