Life lesson: if you fart while talking to a girl outside, the smell does not dissipate, it just lingers around mocking you
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
Randomize
