there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize
