I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
Randomize
