Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
I just want nice things and good sex
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
Randomize
