WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
I love you. Go after that dick
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
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