This phone does not accept mass texts. Try again.
My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
Listen, dont tell me about your day or that your mom is in town. Don't ask me to drive you to the airport or proofread your paper. Text me when and only when you have a boner. Oh and take your pants off and leave your front door unlocked because I'm coming over.
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
Randomize
