It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
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