ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
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