Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
one might say we're banned from that church
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
Randomize
