I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
Randomize
