we're chasing vodka with high fives
he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
Randomize
