btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
I just blew my weed a kiss
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
Randomize
