You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
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