My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
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