i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
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