Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
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