If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
As shirtless as possible
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
My liver just had a heart attack.
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
Randomize
