Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
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