I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
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