"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
My CPA just snapchatted me a picture of her playing beer pong at a picnic. Time to do my own taxes?
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
Randomize
