there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
Randomize
