Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
I'm drunk at a fancy martini bar, wearing jeans, drinking cheap vodka that I brought in my purse. Got thrown out of court for using my cell phone. All in all calling Thursday a success.
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
i wish there were pregnant emoticons
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
so when our kids ask "when did you know you loved mommy?" you're gonna say "when she sent me emoticons about slobbing on my knob?"
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
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