well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
whose parrot is this?
The struggles of a small town man whore
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
Randomize
