After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
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