No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize