she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
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