I feel like I'm in dance class right now
Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
