Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
Randomize
