My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
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