stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
im like that movie w. ryan reynolds, no ones ever going to date me unless they're forced to marry me.
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Randomize
