You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
it's great music for shaving your balls
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
Randomize
