she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
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