dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
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