If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
Don't EVER smell your tampon
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
Randomize
