is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
I got inside last night via doggy door
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
Randomize
