halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
my cat ate my toast this morning while i was getting dressed. i can already tell today is going to suck.
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
She tied me up with her honor cords...
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
How external is "for external use only"?
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
You tipped the Uber driver extra for taking your phone away while you were drunk texting
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
Randomize
