I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
Randomize
