I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
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