You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
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