just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
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