About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
Randomize
