My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
My friend wants your phone number so you can teach her how to take a beer bong. She saw you doing them last night and got jealous.
Just tell her to open her throat. I don't want to talk to anyone who is jealous of someone who woke up this morning with a cat in their shirt as a result of that glorious beer bonging skill.
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
Randomize
