coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
Randomize
