How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
Randomize
